Dangerously In Love
by SensuallyPassionate
Summary: Angelica has to deal with her demons in secret and it eventually gets the best of her. Suggestive langauge and themes. Sex, Alcohol, and Drugs will be present. Chuckie and Angelica Romance.
1. Into the looking glass

**A/N: All I can say is that I am back.**

**Dangerously In Love**

**By: Princesslady**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rugrats or any of its affiliates. All is owned by their respectable owners. I am just using them for creative purposes and the abuse of my slightly unorthodox imagination. This IS an ADULT piece of literature that should not be read by anyone under the age of 16. There WILL be disturbing scenes as well as suggestive language. Reader discretion is advised.**

**Enjoy.**

**Prologue**

**Angelica:**

Charlotte is at it again, fucking any man in sight since her and Drew's divorce. Christ, it's been almost four years and you'd think she would have stopped hoeing herself around like a horny teenage girl and found herself a new man by now. She thinks I don't know what she does in the late hours of the night all over town but I do. Shit, I do. Wish I didn't though. I sometimes wish I was my naïve ten year old self again, oblivious to the world and to all the fucked up shit that happens around me. When you're ten, debt and bankruptcy sounded like terms used in a long ass game of monopoly, as part of the rules you always tuned out because it was just ridiculously boring. When you're ten, bottles of tequila and packs of cigarettes seemed exotic and foreign; something you know you should never touch but always pretend you did because it made you look 'cool' when you told the kids in your class you fake smoked a cigarette to see if you resembled the badass Uma Thurman in _Pulp Fiction_. When you're ten, daddy having an affair with some lady from work was something unheard of, if not completely unimaginable. At ten, I had no clue as to what the hell an affair was. I thought it was something along the lines of a business meeting with another woman or daddy making a new friend and inviting her to an occasional dinner- since that is what friends do. At ten, you are under the impression that "Mommy and daddy love each other very much and although they often times disagree, it was never anything to worry my little princess head over." At ten, you don't want to find out that your house is being foreclosed on, your parents are filing for bankruptcy to avoid losing everything due to the bullshit economy, or that your father has been messing around with some Swedish woman for the past five years and even had the audacity not to use protection throughout their scandalous rendezvous. What really led to the divorce was the birth of my sister, Paris-Marie Pickles. Charloette was livid when Drew told her about his 'situation'. One thing led to another and there you have it; my father now living uptown with that Swedish whore and his 'pride and joy' of a daughter that he faithfully odes to on MakeBook daily, my mother an up and coming alcoholic/sex-fiend, me and my mother living in some average three-bedroom townhome next to some noisy loud ass neighbors with seven kids, and lastly, you have me, slightly…delicately-situated Angelica right now. See, I solely talked about my parents to see if anyone is still out there giving two fucks right now.

Now that I know I have your attention, we can get to the main attraction: Me, an alcoholic, clinically diagnosed depressed, sex-addicted Angelica Pickles. This is not a cliché episode of Degrassi or a rerun of True Life, this is real shit and to make matters worse, no one knows about this but me. None of my friends, family, or even my boyfriend of six years knows my situation. When I am drunk, he thinks I am too deprived of sleep to the point where I slur my words and unable to keep my balance. When I pop my anti-depressants, he thinks I am taking a Midol, an Advil, or some generic store bought multivitamin meant to boost my metabolism or something. When I crave sex and masturbate fifteen times a day just to avoid cheating on my beloved like my ass of a father did with my mother, he thinks I have a weak bladder and have a medical requirement to use the restroom numerous times a day to avoid any unintended mishaps. Yes, he is a bit naïve but part of me knows he knows.

You see, Charles 'Chuckie' Finster is not stupid. We're talking about a man that was accepted into Princeton, Harvard, and Yale- three badass schools that only accept the elite of the elite. We're talking about a man that is majoring in biochemical engineering as well as Mathematics. We're talking about a man that had a four-page spread in some nationally acclaimed nerd magazine for discovering evidence debunking the 'Big Bang Theory'. So yes, part of me knows he knows I am a bit fucked up, part of me knows he does not know the entire story and that alone keeps him from seeing the obvious. I want to tell him and get this weight lifted off my shoulders but something inside of me won't allow it. Maybe because I am scared to tell him I am practically killing myself with my weapon of choice because drowning out my troubles and woes with Bacardi and Vodka seemed like the easiest option- as well as the most available. Maybe because I don't want to tell him I have to force myself to smile around him when I really feel like crying inside. Or maybe it is because I am afraid to tell him how many penises I have sucked within the past six months to get my sexual fix because I refuse to cheat on him any other way. But I think the real reason I refuse to tell him is because for the first time in my life, I am afraid of someone truly leaving me. Given I had lots of love from my mother and father growing up as a child, but they were never home and when they were, they were always busy. We lived in an overly extravagant home with six bedrooms, four baths, a dining room, living room, foyer, two balconies, a parlor, and other unnecessary rooms for unnecessary things but rarely saw each other. It was as if I were living with strangers. When they felt like they were neglecting me, they bought me shit I did not need. I owned my first Louis Vutton at age six. I sported Tiffany diamonds at age seven. Saw the Chanel spring collection in Paris at age eight. So forth and so on. My parents loved me, but at the same time, they didn't know me. My mother doesn't even know my favorite flavor of ice-cream while my father still thinks I carry around a damn Cynthia doll (that's secret however).

Chuckie, on the other hand, knows me better than I know myself. He knows my favorite flowers are daisies. He knows my favorite ice-cream flavor is mint chocolate. Knows my favorite movie is Harry Potter. He knows I only eat the blue and yellow M&M's. He knows I snore so loud to the point where he has to wear earplugs every now and then. He knows I am claustrophobic. H knows I am slightly addicted to cream soda. He knows I have a birth mark on my inner-thigh the shape of Louisiana. He Knows I can only move my left ear. He knows I can only move my pinkie toe on each foot. He knows my favorite food of all time is mashed potatoes and gravy. He knows EVERYTHING about me, but yet, I feel if I give him this last piece of the puzzle to who I am as a whole, it will scare him away at what the entire image ends up to be and leave me with absolutely nothing. His girlfriend of six years cannot be a sex-addicted depressed alcoholic. He deserves so much better than that. He deserves so much better than me, but for some strange ass reason he chose to fall in love with me, Angelica Charloette Pickles. I don't know why but he loves me, but in a strange way, he can never love all of me as long as I keep my secret life away from him. Eventually he'll find out. Eventually he'll know I'm not as 'perfect' as I seem. Eventually, our worlds will collide for either better or worse. Eventually he'll find out he is dangerously in love.


	2. Ditching class for sex

**Part I**

**Love and Happiness**

**Angelica: **

'_Hey, hey, hey Flint, Michigan! Good Morning out there to you! It's Dougy Gee waking you up this early Monday morning to wish you a great start to your week! School is back in session, work is up to speed, coffee is brewing, pancakes are flipping, bacon is crisping, it's a good morning here in Michigan and I'm here to make it better. Its September so you know the weather is dying down from that scorching summer heat so bundle up today folks; looks like the average temperature for today is a high of sixty-six. Time to put away those shorts, switch them out for jeans and a cardigan, and grab a hot chocolate this morning instead of a frappe mocha!_

I heard him smash the top of his alarm clock angrily as he rolled over to face the blinking red neon lights that read 6:45 a.m. I heard him groan and moan as he slowly forced himself out of bed, sitting on the edge for about five minutes in an attempt to gather himself before reaching down onto his carpeted floor to grab his boxers and discarded hooded sweatshirt. He retreated into his shared bathroom and all that was audible was the sound of his piss hitting the toilet bowl water. I took that as an opportunity to get up and quickly get dressed before his roommate came back from his 5 a.m. jog. I had a hangover like a motherfucker and needed a shower badly. I reeked of alcohol, musk, and sex. All I wanted to do was go home, take a shower, masturbate, and maybe pass out along the couch to a rerun of Jerry Springer. The last thing I wanted was for this idiot from damn Alaska to come up in here all chipper and shit with energy like a damn energizer battery at almost seven in the morning.

I did not intend to sleep over. Chuckie made that decision for me after we made love last night. I was out drinking with a few of my friends and got a little wasted. My friends thought it would be hilarious if I prank dialed Chuckie and told him that I was so fucked up and was going to screw a chicken if he didn't come and stop me. Somehow, I wouldn't be surprised if I did fuck a chicken. I was so horny last night, I dry humped a chair. We laughed and thought it was all fun and games until Chuckie actually DID show and ruin our fun. I don't even remember the conversation he and I had when he barged into the bar, but it was something to deal with underage, gang rape, and irresponsibility. Before you know it, I am being picked up by my boyfriend and slung over his arm as he carries me to his truck. I remember kicking and screaming and telling the bartender to call the police because I was being 'kidnapped'. Of course Charles being the gentleman he was raised to be ignored me and drove me back to his dorm to sleep off my current insanity. He knew that if I went home, I would have only drank more and probably would have fallen out in my own vomit. Next thing you know, I'm puking, dizzy, falling all over the goddamn place, having trouble brushing my teeth, popping Advil, drinking warm milk, and having slow and sensual sex with my beloved. God that was a good night.

Carefully putting on my flip-flops and retrieving my jacket from atop of the bookcase, I began to tiptoe my way out of the room. Usually I stay and cuddle after a night of passion but since he had class in less than an hour and I needed to pop in some type of medication as quickly as possible, there was no room for trying to get all 'lovey dovey' at the moment. Trying not to alert my beloved, I carefully opened the door to leave out of his room, quietly shutting it behind me with the least amount of noise if possible. I let out a sigh of relief when I was successfully home free and begin to rummage through my jacket pockets for my hair scrunchie and pack of Marlboros. I finally found the two and begin walking away from the dorm, tying my hair up into a messy pony-tail while propping a cigarette in my mouth, getting ready to light it. As usual in college, you have a few nosey motherfuckers that want to be in everyone's business but their own. Since Chuckie lived on a coed floor, a few girls that I walked past gave me this 'look' that screamed 'SHE'S A WHORE'. A few guys looked me up and down as a silent request to see if they could get in on the action as well. I rolled my eyes and flipped them all the bird, continuing to walk down the long-ass hallway with pride. Yes, me and my boyfriend of six years do in fact have sex. Duh. I almost reached the door before I felt someone yank my arm and twist me around like some rag doll. I was ready to fight and break out the can of mace I had in my jean pocket before I saw who it was. My rage downgraded into anger but nevertheless I was ready to go at it.

"CHARLES!" I shouted out at the orange-haired boy holding me. He held both my hands pinned above my head and trapped me between his hard body and the door of the building. If I wasn't so fucking pissed, I would have found the scene to be slightly erotic. His hard chest pressing against my full and ample breasts. His groin against my pelvis- with an erect member courtesy of 'Morning Wood'. Our lips practically touching from how close we were to one another. It was almost as if he wanted to fuck me right then and there.

He signed. "So, you were going to leave without saying anything?"

I let out a sigh of my own as he unclenched my wrists and took a few steps back. I got from against the door and maneuvered to the wall besides it. (There were students waiting to get in the building after all but were too caught up in our little scene to even care.) I propped another cigarette in my mouth, since my previous one somehow got lost between now and the attack serial killer Chuckie attempted on me, and took out a lighter.

"You know I hate when you smoke, right?" He commented. I rolled my eyes and lit the stick, taking a long drag and exhaling it to the side of me, careful not to get it anywhere near Chuckie. He was slightly asthmatic.

"I know, but you know I can't stop."

"Can we at least go outside so it can air out a little?"

"That's where I was going before you attacked me like some damn rapist or some shit." I snapped. Chuckie only shook his head before opening the door I was previously held prisoner against and followed me outside. I took a few more drags of my cigarette before putting it out against a tree. Chuckie hated talking to me when I smoked and the awkward silence between us as he watched me killed me. I just hated putting out a perfectly fresh stick. Packs aren't cheap. "So, aren't you going to get ready for class?"

"Why did you leave like that?" His voice was serious yet soft, almost hurt even. I exhaled a deep breath. "What was that about, Gelly?"

"You have a 7:30 class and I did not want to keep you." I lied. Truth is, I wanted to snuggle and maybe grab a quick bite to eat from McDonalds or something but my hangover was killing me and I needed to take some type of medication. Besides, my Zoloft and Celexa was beginning wearing off and I felt shitty. "It's lucreative you go to class."

"Lucrative?"

I smacked my lips. "Yes, Webster! Damn, I know what I said." He knows how much I hate when he corrects me on stupid shit. I know I fuck up words sometimes but does he have to correct me? These are the times that I hate when my boyfriend was so fucking smart. "You know I don't like it when you make me feel stupid." And I sure as hell was far from it. I may be going to community college for the first two years but my high ACT score said otherwise.

"Sorry, Gelly." He moved closer to me and wrapped me in his arms for a deep embrace. I could smell him. He smelt of me. He smelt of us. "Just answer my question."

"I just told you Finster." I looked up at him. Over the years Chuckie got taller. He was an even 6'0 ft and was still thin and lanky as ever but muscular to a degree. His once untamed orange mass he called hair was now short and slightly spiky like his father's. Those huge purple binoculars he called glasses back in middle-school were replaced with black sleek rectangular frames. His braces were removed our junior year in high school so his teeth were perfectly aligned and bright. His once cracked and somewhat feminine voice grew deeper and much more masculine as his face dawned a nicely trimmed Johnny Depp goatee. I was getting horny just looking at him and I needed to go. "You have class and I have to go."

"I can miss out on this lecture if you need me to, Gelly." He kissed my lips softly, "It's biology lecture. Nothing important."

God, he was sweet. "No, Chuckie go. I have to go home anyway." I wanted to get out of his embrace so badly but I was getting hornier by the second just being up against him. His morning wood wasn't helping much either.

He lifted an eyebrow and brought me closer. I moaned lowly as I felt that familiar sensation down between my legs. God I needed to fuck something quick. "Angelica…"

"Chuckie." I practically moaned. I wanted him so badly, and being a sex-addict made things worse. Chuckie just thought my libido was higher than normal for women. At the most, he thought I was hyper-sexual. Being a sex-addict, I needed sex and when I could not get it, I had to do something to relive myself of that ache in order to reach my climax. If I didn't, certain places would begin to throb and cause real physical pain. "Chuckie…"

He looked down on me and studied me closely. Here I was practically clenching my legs together in order to keep myself from jumping on him right then and there as he looked at me as if I was to have an epileptic seizure. "Gelly, baby, what's wrong? You alright?"

I nodded quickly and closed my eyes. All I could envision was his thick rod entering my wet cavern and pounding it until I wept in pleasure. I needed to leave. "Chuckie, go to class!" I barked, finally removing myself from him. "I have to go." I began to walk towards the bus stop but of course he speedily came after me, yanking me close to him again for the second time. This time I was not angry nor did I have a reason to try and pretend to be. The only thing I wanted to do was fuck Chuckie and fuck him now.

"Angelica," he began, "Please baby, talk to me. You ok? First you leave, then you get angry with me, and now you are…"

"Horny as fuck." I whisper before sealing his lips in a kiss. I wanted to tongue him down but I almost forgot we were in front of his dormitory building and not only were there students coming in and out of the building, it was also a shit load of camera strategically placed everywhere. I was not trying to have an audience. I broke the kiss and gazed into his eyes. "Please let me go, Chuckie. You have class soon and I am going to make you late."

He smirked and placed his hand under my chin, bringing my face up to meet his. I couldn't help but blush and turn away. "Angelica, I rather spend my morning with you."

"But…" He shut me up with another kiss, this time with a force and passion that drove me wild. He trailed the kiss from my lips downward to my neck, behind my ear precisely. He began to nibble on my earlobe and suck on my neck. If I didn't know better, he was trying to give me a love bite. Chuckie knew what he was getting himself into. He knows where my 'spots' are and how to trigger them the hardest. I was his instrument and he was the maestro, conducting a symphony that only he knew and could play so goddamn well.

"Angelica" he whispered, "Let's go back into my room and finish this ok?"

"But you have class." I tried to make sense of everything. I wanted him to the point where I was close to crying if I did not get it. On the other hand, I wanted him to go to class. He was on academic scholarship so his grades were crucial to his attendance at the university. I could not be so selfless as to make him give into my needs without considering all that he would be giving up in being with me. No matter how much I wanted his cock. I pulled away from his touch. It pained me like a motherfucker but I had to do it. "Chuckie, I would be a terrible girlfriend if I allowed you to miss one of your lectures."

He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry about me, Gelly. My next class is at two and that is plenty of time to catch up on the notes I will miss."

"Finster…"

He quieted me with another kiss, this time it was slow and passionate. It was the type of kiss that makes you feel lightheaded and ignorant to everything around you. It was the type of kiss you get when you know you are in love. I grinned slightly and returned the favor, wrapping my arms around my lover's neck for a deeper embrace. I no longer wanted him, I needed him.

He pulled away slowly, his eyes still intertwined with mine. "Angelica, please stop worrying. One lecture will not hurt."

"Carrot-top…" I tried to gain one last ounce of resistance before my hormones took over. I was so wet and so ready for him. "Are you…"

Chuckie interrupted me by taking my hand and guiding me back through the doors of his dormitory. Before you know it, me and him are having wild and passionate sex on his twin XL bed. The springs were creaking loudly, the bed frame was repeatedly knocking against the wall, the music we played to attempt to mask our lovers game was an epic failure because my screams and moans were loud enough for people to hear over the music. I don't even remember when we undressed each other or how we got into this predicament but I was elated and could give two fucks. I was with the man I loved and he was making wild passionate love to me. That was all that mattered.

Chuckie flipped me over from being on top to becoming in a submissive position underneath his chiseled body. He may have been skinny but he sure as hell was more than skin and bones. I began to run a slick finger down along the lines of his pectorals, trailing down to his rippled abdomen, and finally landing in a nest of small orange curls. I wanted to feel him go in and out of me. He let out a small groan when I griped the base of his shaft as he entered me. I felt our bodies touch and become one in the most intimate way possible. Him inside of me felt so right. I began to run my hand along his shaft as his pace quickened, his groans growing louder. I saw the beads of sweat form in the crevices of his forehead, his eyes close slowly as unspoken volumes of pleasure enveloped my beloved. I spread my legs wider so he could have better access to what was his as well as to more firmly grip him. I started to stroke him as he stroked me, feeling the moist essence of me along his smooth and silky porcelain skin conjoined with his seed. He never once opened his eyes but I did not care. His groans grew to bigger heights as he quickened the rhythm and tempo. I couldn't help but become lost in the painful pleasure Chuckie was giving me as I threw my head back into his pillow.

I couldn't take it anymore. I released his shaft and used both hands to hold onto the headboard as my love began to pound into me, the sound of skin hitting skin so fucking erotic that it made me climax at least three times. I closed my eyes and moaned out his name proudly to the heavens as he brought me closer to that peak of ecliptic bliss and rapture. His hands moved from being wrapped around my waist to being embedded upon my ankles. I felt him stop and immediately opened my eyes. I was so close. How could he stop in midstride!

"…" I breathed out, half frustrated, half pleadingly, "Please, don't stop."

He didn't reply with words but instead with actions. He pulled my frame closer to the edge of the bed as he stood up, never letting go of my ankles nor leaving me. I immediately realized what he was planning to do and braced myself for the waves of pure gratification that were about to wash over me. Standing, Chuckie began his beat, it was medium/fast- just how I liked it- and my moans increased. He spread my legs wider and stroked faster, my grip on the headboard lessening due to the force and feeling that was unexplainable. I could feel his sack hit against me along with his pelvis as he stroked in and out. I could tell he was close as well because when he is, he begins to swear. I came for the fourth time seconds later and clenched my kegal muscles around his penis to quicken his. He howled and quickly exited me. I sat up and inched over to the edge of the bed and quickly wrapped my mouth around his penis. I began bobbing my head and fondling with his sack, trying to please him in every way possible.

He screamed 'Fuck' before he coated my mouth with his unique flavor. I swallowed every bit of it and licked the remnants of his shaft before he collapsed onto the bed, exhausted and ready to take a well-deserved nap. I smiled and went up to kiss his lips. He could barely keep his eyes open and I giggled before snuggling deep inside his chest. He was drenched with sweat but I didn't care. I loved every bit of him.

"A-Angelica…"

"Yes, Chuckie?"

"I love you." He breathed out before drifting off to sleep. I looked up at his sleeping form and kissed his lips once more.

"I love you too, Chuckie." I took his right hand and kissed it delicately. "I just hope you'll always love me."


	3. Chuckie

**Chuckie:**

I could barely focus. My head was just not into my studies. The pages of my Biology book and my notebook were all nothing but a blur. All I could think about was Angelica. Angelica this, Angelica that. She plagued my mind with her grace and beauty and in return, I could focus on nothing but that woman. She was my vice and I knew it, everyone knew it. Something was off with her lately and I just could not put my finger on it exactly. As smart as I am, Angelica was the one and only thing that I could not figure out. One minute I feel as if I know her completely, and the next moment I feel as if I know only what she allows me to see. Her drunken episodes have become much more frequent lately and her drinking has gotten a lot heavier. She used to get drunk on occasion, when stress or high emotions got the best of her. Now, I noticed she gets intoxicated almost every other day, for the hell of it to say the least. Her smoking habit has picked up as well, going from one pack a month to almost a pack every week. At first I could endure the smell of smoke on her, but now it is almost unbearable. She lost a lot of weight too. She was once a curvy and healthy young woman, but now she is almost nothing but skin and bones. I never wanted to tell this to her face, but I sometimes have to imagine the old Angelica, the woman I fell in love with, to get hard before we make love. I love Angelica with every fiber of my being, but something is wrong with her and she refuses to talk to me about it. Every time I try and talk to her about her behavior, she gets incredibly defensive and it only results in an unnecessary argument; so I just stopped asking all together. It bothers me like hell to see her slowly deteriorate into nothing but the shell of her former self. How can I allow myself to just sit back and watch the woman I love self-destruct herself?

Angelica and I have been dating for a little over six years now. We got together under the most abnormal of conditions and have not broken up since. We had a class together, English if I recall correctly, and in a poem she was instructed to write for a class assignment, she had accidentally said my name when she was instructed to input someone she loved or admired. To everyone's surprise, even mine, Angelica did not deny it and professed her unrequited love for me then and there. She had feelings for me since we were just children. She ran out of class shortly after and I could not find her until later than day, swinging on the swing set in an abandoned park nearby her house. She tried to run away when she saw me approaching but I grabbed her and placed a chaste kiss upon her lips. It became our first of many. Our relationship eventually became the epitome of the "perfect relationship" and resulted in every girl becoming envious of Angelica. I may have been a nerd, but I was a good catch, they all knew it just as well as I did.

"Chuckie!"

I looked up from my notebook and met the startled gaze of my roommate, Rodger, and my best friend of many years, Tommy Pickles. I let out a small sigh and ran a single hand through my orange mane. Thinking about Angelica puts me in a small trance. I did not see them hovering over me like obsessed maniacs for almost five minutes.

"You ok man?" Tommy asked, concerned. He sat atop my desk and closed my notebook that had my Biology notes written in it. I was trying to study for the final coming up. Because I missed class, I did not have a chance to catch the review my professor had scheduled. This class was the only class I needed to desperately pass if I wanted to get into Medical school next semester. I would be the only underclassman to ever get accepted if I passed the entrance exam, as well as the youngest. "You been distracted lately."

"Yeah" Rodger commented. " And you have bags the size of saucers underneath your eyes."

Tommy and I have been friends since I can remember. He and I did everything together and is undoubtedly more than a best friend, but considered to be my brother. It used to be me, him, Phil, his twin sister Lillian, and my half-sister Kimi as the inseparable group; but as time inevitably progressed, so did our lives. We all drifted away but Tommy and I are the only ones that really remained just as close as we were back in grade school. Phil received a scholarship to play football in New York while Lillian had gotten pregnant her senior year of high school with twins and moved to Arizona to be close to the baby's father. Kimi goes to some art school downtown and plans on being a dancer in the near future, so she travels frequently to auditions in various cities throughout the United States, searching for her big break. Tommy and I attend the same university, the University of Michigan-Flint, in our home town. Tommy was offered a partial scholarship to attend the photography and film program and still retains the aspirations of becoming a brilliant director. His works have slowly gotten better throughout the years and with a degree, he could really become something great. I, on the other hand, was offered numerous numbers of full-scholarships from almost every university in the nation. My high school test scores were one of the highest in my high school and in the top ten percentile in the US alone. My dream school, Harvard, even offered me admission to their health program but I respectfully turned them down, shocking everyone, even myself. Truth is, I wanted to go to Harvard. Harvard has been my top choice since I was in seventh grade in Ms. Ingalls class when she and the other seventh grade teachers took everyone on a field trip to their momentous campus in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I fell in love with Harvard, but also with someone else. My only love, Angelica C. Pickles. Angelica was the only reason I stayed home and accepted the full-scholarship offer from Michigan. I never told her that because she would feel guilty and as if she was holding me back. I simply lied and said I didn't like the libraries at Harvard when I really found them to be simply and utterly spectacular.

I sighed. "Yeah, I am ok. I am just thinking."

"About Medical School?" Rodger asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to me and Tommy. Rodger and I have been roommates since our freshman year of college. He is also considered a really good friend of mine. Being a year older than I, he plans to also enter Medical School but only after he finishes is degree in Engineering. He plans to enter the field of civil engineering because his parents figured it would be a good career goal for him. His passion is medicine, however, but very few people know that about him.

"Yeah." I lied. Compared to Angelica, Medical school seemed like a breeze.

"So you really are changing your major to Pre-Med instead of Biochemical Engineering?"

I nodded. "Medicine just seems like a better fit."

"Good for your Chuck." Tommy gave me a thumbs up. " You become that brain surgeon and kick some major ass. But in the meantime, you mind telling your best friend what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Just my studies."

Tommy raised an eyebrow and looked at me skeptically. "C'mon Chuck. I known you since we were in diapers. What is really eating at you?"

"You really want to know?"

Tommy nodded and took a small sip of his beer. That reminded me. It was a party tonight, a frat party I was invited to that I totally forgot about. In high school, I was never really that popular so being invited to parties and such are still very new to me. I was considered the "nerd" and hated by everyone deemed worthy. As I got older, I began to lose my "nerd" label and gain the attention of those who once only talked to me when they needed help on last night's homework assignment. It had a lot to do with puberty setting it. My voice got deeper, I lost my braces, I discovered the gym, I grew facial hair. Women began to flock towards me and those women brought along the athletes, those athletes bringing in their friends. Before I knew it, I graduated high school and entered college- majority of the people I went to high school with being here as well. Needless to say, I kept my new image and became a pretty well-known dude. My newfound popularity has yet to fully sink in and causes me to forget many of the events hosted on and around campus; tonight's party being one of them.

"Tonight was the Gamma party wasn't it?"

Tommy nodded, smiling happily. "Hell yeah. Women from door to door, endless amounts of booze, great music, awesome food. C'mon Chuck, how can you forget?"

I shrugged and reopened my notebook. "Biology has my mind in a daze." I lied. Tommy knew this.

"Bullshit, Chuckie. " he snatched my notebook and threw it in a corner somewhere, landing between a pile of my dirty laundry and some old fruit snack boxes. I should really clean my room. "You are the smartest kid I know. You aren't worried about any damn Biology. What's really eating at you?"

"Your cousin."

"Ew." Tommy fake gagged. After six years, he still could not believe me and Angelica we an item. "Angelica?"

I nodded. "I been worried about her lately. She isn't herself."

Tommy shrugged and guzzled down the rest of his drink. "Ever since the divorce between her parents, she has been acting a bit strange, but me and her were never too close so I don't bother to ask or get into her personal life."

"The cute blonde chick that sleeps over sometimes?" Rodger asked. I almost forgot he was in the conversation.

"Yes."

Rodger grinned a devilish grin and let out a loud whistle. "Man, she is a smoking one. I would like to see what she can do in the sack, say Tom?" He winked and nudged at Tommy who in return roughly shoved Rodger in a corner.

"Dude, don't touch me. And that is my fucking cousin. I don't want to know what she does in the sack or in anything for the matter."

"Shit, don't got to be all pushy." Rodger regained his balance and stood up, brushing himself off and trying with every ounce of his dignity not to show his hurt pride. He forgot Tommy was on the school's wrestling team and was a bit touchy when men made more physical contact than normal. Ever since his encounter with a gay guy a few years back at a burrito place, Tommy became somewhat of a homophobe. "Besides, the way your boy over there bangs her I would assume you two talked about it."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! THAT'S MY COUSIN!"

"Rodger" I interrupted, bolting up before Tommy rushed over and began to pumble the poor kid, "Shut up."

"Sorry. I won't talk about that hot chick anymore."

"Yes, my _girlfriend_. " My voice came out a bit angrier than I intended but it got the point across.

"She is still a hottie though. You snagged you a good one there, Chuck. If she wasn't your girlfriend, I would show her a thing or two." Rodger smiled. I clenched a fist and sucked in air. Rodger was the kid that sometimes did not know when to keep is mouth shut. He lacked the mental ability to think before he said anything, and that got him into loads of trouble most of the time.

"Rodger, shut up and sit down." Tommy interjected, eyeing me. He knew I wanted to strangle the idiot. "Besides, she only has the heart for Chuckie. They been an item since high school."

"Really?" his voice seemed defeated and it put a small smile on my face. "That's cute though."

Tommy turned his attention to me, ignoring Rodger. "But yeah," he continued. "Ever since the divorce between my uncle Drew and her mom, my mom said that Charlotte has seen major changes in her behavior. She picked up the habit of smoking, drinks whenever she feels like it, and I think she has an eating disorder but no one is quiet sure. I overheard my mom and Charlotte talking about how one night her dad caught her making herself throw up after dinner. Since then they both been doing there best to stop any "unusual" behavior but she is still turning out to be a wreck."

Angelica never mentioned anything about that. What's going on with her?

"Anything else?"

Tommy shook his head and got up to get another beer. "I'm going back to the party Chuck. This cute brunette offered to give me a BJ tonight. I don't want to miss that." He stopped at the doorway and turned to face me. "Sure you don't want to tag along? A BJ isn't considered cheating. Not like you fucked the bitch or anything like that."

I laughed and told Tommy to have a good time. I did not want to keep him. Tommy was good with the ladies and the ladies swooned over Tommy. He had a new girl every night and his promiscuity only brought him more notoriety. Women apparently loved a man that was great in bed and Tommy had developed quite a reputation.

Rodger perked up when hearing that and followed Tommy, asking him a series of questions about the cute brunette in question and if she had a friend. I would have joined them but I had a shit load of homework and studying to do. Who was I kidding anyway? I wasn't going to do any of it until I talked to Angelica. An eating disorder? That would explain her massive weight loss over the past few years but it doesn't explain everything else. What was really going on with Angelica? She had no close friends I could talk to besides our mutual friend, Suzie; but even then, Suzie was not going to tell me anything I did not already know. She was just that kind of person. To a degree, I could respect that. In this case, it annoyed the fuck out of me.

I closed and locked my room door before plopping down onto my bed carelessly. I loved the smell of fresh clean sheets. The night air was cool and the summer heat had finally died down. It was the perfect autumn weather and I loved it when a small breeze would cascade throughout my room and leave me with small chills. I closed my eyes and slowly began to drift off into my thoughts. Angelica. What was going on with her lately? Was she pregnant? That idea would not surprise me, seeing as how we fuck like rabbits. But we used protection majority of the time and she was on birth control. Seeing as how she has yet to gain a pound in over a year, that was certainly out of the question. Maybe she was on drugs. No, that could not be either. I would have noticed her behavior. Given she does have tendencies that show some kind of addiction, I doubt drugs is it. Angelica was always afraid of the stuff. Maybe its…

My cell rang. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at my nightstand, watching the vibrations of my phone move across the wood it rested on. It was probably Tommy calling to ask for an extra rubber. He was never prepared. It could have been Rodger, calling to ask me to keep the door open because he forgot his key again. Or it could have been dad, calling to ask me another science question. Ever since he went back to school to get his degree, he has called non stop with various school-related questions, as well as the occasional "don't get Angelica pregnant" speech he has engraved in my memory.

I groaned loudly and reached for my phone, flipping it open. I did not bother looking at the caller ID, I did not care. "Hello?" My voice was obviously annoyed. I wanted whoever called to get the hint I did not want to be bothered.

"Someone has their panties in a bunch."

Angelica. I let a small grin grace my face and laid back down. "Hey Gelly."

"Why do you sound so upset, Finster?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"You." She grew quiet. I did not want to lie to her. "Angelica?"

"I'm here." she said quickly. There was another pregnant pause. "Why are you thinking of me?"

"I'm worried about you. You seem a lot…different than usual."

"Different good or different bad?"

"Just…..different."

"What do you mean!" she got defensive. I rolled my eyes. Angelica only got melodramatic when I was onto something she could not deny. "I am totally not-"

"Save it Angelica and tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Really?"

"Yes." she swallowed hard and I could hear her rummage through some things. Papers it sounded like.

"You busy?"

"No, just looking for one of the many Chinese food menus in my mom's never ending junk drawer. I have a craving for orange chicken." I chuckled. Angelica sure did love her Chinese food. Almost as much as she loved mashed potatoes and gravy. "Want me to order you some?"

"I'm okay Gelly, I had some Mexican for dinner. Thanks anyway."

"I have no idea why you eat that spicy stuff. You know what it does to you."

"It was buy one get one free Monday!" I know Mexican food makes my stomach upset but I cannot possibly turn down a free monster steak burrito. It was damn good too.

She giggled. "Whatever, Finster. Don't say shit to me when you can't find yourself able to make it to the bathroom at two in the morning."

I grinned. "Don't worry about me. I am more concerned about you. You ok?" She grew quiet again and all that could be heard through the receiver was the sound of her still trying to find that Chinese menu. "Angelica, please talk to me."

"And say what?" she snapped, surprising me slightly. "What do you want to know, Charles?"

She only used my name when she was upset with me. I was getting into a sensitive area with her and she knew it. So there was something there that she was not telling me. Did she really have an eating disorder? Was she making herself sick just like Tommy had said?

"Chuckie?"

"I'm here." I said quietly. "Angelica, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Are you pregnant?"

There was a small pause before I heard her burst into a fit of laughter. I did not find my question amusing. "Why do you think that carrot-top?"

"You been acting odd lately and I thought it may be due to hormonal changes and-"

"I am not pregnant Chuckie." she laughed lightly before continuing. "Do I look pregnant to you?"

"You don't look healthy either." I did not intend for it to come out the way it did but it was too late to take back. I heard Angelica gasp and slam the drawer shut before angrily hanging up the phone. I tried dialing her back several times but she kept forwarding them to voicemail. I sent her an apologetic text, asking her to at least call me before she went to bed. She replied with "K" and I left it at that. I let out an exasperated sigh and allowed myself to drift back off into my thoughts. If she was not pregnant, then she must have the eating disorder. If its not that, then what the hell could it be? Maybe she was addicted to drinking and smoking. Her habits picked up quicker than normal. But I doubt that be the true underlying issue with my Angelica. If its not that, then what is?

I groaned before turning on my side and nestling up to my pillow. It still smelled of strawberry shampoo, Vodka, and oatmeal raisin cookies, in other words her. I looked at my clock as it read 12:45 a.m. I needed to sleep.

**a/n: Special thanks to Relentless Revolver. You got me out of my rut and inspired me to write again. This is why I do what I do. I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did writing it. **


	4. Two to tango

**Angelica**

I rolled out of the bed and hit the hard, wooden floor with a loud thud. A waft of sweaty gym socks, stale cheese, mold, and sex hit my nostrils as I groggily opened my eyes. The loud tantrums of Bob Marley were coming from the living room, pots and pans clanking as an occasional swear word was thrown around carelessly. My throat burned and I could barely swallow, my groin feeling as if it were on fire. _What the hell? _ I groaned, sitting myself up to meet an unfamiliar territory. I was in a small, cramped bedroom that graced red, yellow, and green paint, shag carpeting in the middle of the room, a small twin-sized bed, crumpled clothing in every corner, and- of course- an over-sized Bob Marley poster on the ceiling. My mind began to race as I tried to figure out what had happened the night before. All I could remember was ignoring Chuckie for the entire two days before I was wisked away to some bar with a few close friends. We did tequila shots, jagger bombs, danced atop of the bar table to raunchy music, and kissed each other for hefty tips from strangers. After that, it goes black. Looking down, I saw that I was fully clothed with the exception of a shirt. I did not know whether to be relieved or concerned. I rubbed my eyes as I stood up, shakily trying to regain my composure. I am used to having hangovers but this one was different, more…delusional. A tall, muscular, dark-skinned man waved to me from the kitchen. Did I know him?

"Angelina, you finally awake, huh?"

I remained silent as I grabbed my blouse, hanging from a lamp shade close to his bed. _How the hell did I get here?_

"You want any breakfast? I made pancakes, bacon, and grits." He chuckled, I began walking towards him, finally finding my sandals that were in the only clean, abandoned corner. "I know you white folks don't like grits but I thought you could try them for me, aye?"

"It's Angelica."

"Oh, sorry" he smiled. "Thought you were the white woman from last week for a second."

I scoffed. "Not to be rude, but who are you and why am I in your house?"

He laughed and placed a small peck on my lips. I instantly pulled away, wiping any trace of saliva from me. I began to get nervous. "You funny, mon. Come sit with me, aye?"

The man had a strong Jamaican accent. He was about Chuckie's height, kissed with the color of midnight, built like an African deity, and graced a medium-length ponytail filled with dreadlocks that ran down the curve of his spine. He was shirtless and graced only loose-fitting lounge pants that shamelessly pressed against the contours of his rather large erection. My mouth began to water as I followed him to his makeshift living room. He lived in a modest one-bedroom-ish apartment filled with only a single, frumpy looking couch, two wooden chairs, a glass table in the middle of the room with heavy residue of cocaine and marijuana, and, of course, Bob Marley posters filling the brim.

"Seriously, who are you?"

"You mean to tell me you 'ont remember me from de' club?" he frowned. "You were all over me, grinding your hips against me dick and tellin' me how you wanted to suck a big black cock for de' first time."

I blushed a new shade of crimson. I coughed nervously. "Oh."

"Yeah, mon. You were all like horny and begged me to throat fuck you."

I waved my hands dramatically and begged him to stop talking. "Did we…have sex?"

He let out a low growl, irritated with my interrogation. "You really don't remember do ya, white girl?" I shook my head and let in low breath. He smirked and sat down on his frumpy looking couch, beginning to dig into his plate. "Yeah, mon. We fucked, and you liked it."

My heart dropped_. No._ "You…You are lying!" I screamed, earning an alarmed expression from "Bob Marley". "I am fully clothed."

"We fucked in my truck outside de' club after you sucked me off in the men's washroom. You begged me to do it!"

"No…" I repeated. "I couldn't have…" My head was spinning as my thoughts began to run wild. All my years of keeping it together; keeping my façade intact so no one, not even my beloved could see beyond the mask I had become apart of my identity. Gone. I knew tap-dancing on the fine line of my sex-addiction would eventually get me here but I figured I could stop before it ever got to this point. "I have a boyfriend."

He rolled his eyes. "You? Aye, mon, whatever man has the balls to cuff a _**whore**_ like you has respect in my book. I wouldn't want my girl doing body shots off random strangers at three in the morning." The word "whore" danced off his lips and made home. It bothered me immensely. Is that how I was perceived ass from those around me?

"My relationship is none of your concern!" I yelled, now fully alarmed. "This can't have happened." I was beginning to lose all sense of my control and felt my psyche slowly begin to wade.

"Well it happened." He said matter-of-factly, standing and beginning to grab me by my arm and escort me to the door. "Get out my house now, aye? The last thing I need is to catch a case from some white girl who is going to cry out some black man raped her."

I got angry and slapped him across his face. "I am not going to do that and I am not racist! My best-friend is black and I have dated men of the African-American persuasion before!"

He stood motionless before he let out a carnivorous howl. I felt my breathing become caught in my throat as he yanked my blouse and brought me to eye-level. His eyes grew strained as his form began to shake out of anger. He twisted the cloth tighter and shook me. "You lucky me mum taught me to never hit a woman, even some white girl like you." He pushed me against the wall and opened his front door, tossing me out. "Like it or not, we slept together and you were too drunk to perform again once I took you to my place. So, I just settled to throat fucking you like you originally wanted." He reached behind the door and threw me a piece of cloth. "There is your evidence, mon."

I watched silently as he slammed the door in my face, still unable to mentally grasp all that just happened in less than ten minutes of finding myself in a strange place with a man that was not my beloved. I looked down and slowly felt the tears begin to stream down my face, my world shattering into encased darkness. I suddenly could not breath, think, live. Staring before me, tauntingly, menacingly were my underwear from the night before, stained with arousal markings, semen, and hints of blood. I curled up into fetal position as I began screaming against the cool texture of the dirty concrete floor. I did not care if I caused a scene or had the police be informed of my predicament; nothing could have been worse than me finding out I finally cheated on my beloved Charles Finster.

**Chuckie**

"You finish with that outline yet?"

I shook my head, still entranced with my English/Grammar Handwriting book. My fingertips danced across the surface of my keyboard as I effortlessly began writing the conclusion to one of my many essays due this week. I sighed. "You?"

"Yes" there was an exasperated sigh. "Though, I just can't seem to get the right words to say for the essay. It's due Friday."

I chuckled, my eyes still not breaking away from the illuminated screen of my laptop. "Trust me, it'll come easy. This is only your first year; it takes time getting used to."

"Can we take a break?"

I turned around to face her, smiling. "Sure, I don't see why not." I quickly pressed the "Save" icon in my word document and closed my laptop. Last time I did that without saving my computer erased my twenty-page paper about the Italian Renascence. Needless to say, I was infuriated and after about an hour of cussing, throwing everything in my room, and having a tantrum like I was three years old again, I pulled an all-nighter courtesy of Red Bull and three pots of coffee. "We have been at it for two hours."

I watched April happily close her textbooks and plop down against my bed, earning a small, yet loud squeak. I guess Angelica and I really did ruin the frame. That was certainly going to have to come out of my housing deposit. "Finally!"

"Want something to drink?" I offered as I got up from my chair, walking towards my mini-fridge I had in the corner of my room. Roger had a shelf stocked full of beer and some odd Indian curry on the second shelf. I forgot for a brief moment I allowed him to share a fridge with me instead of him having to buy one of his own. I was trying to be a good friend but I often regret my generosity when I find that all my groceries were either eaten or have spoiled due to lack of refrigeration. I sighed. "All I have to offer is some beer. It seems my roommate has taken all of my juice boxes."

April giggled. "You are twenty-one and still drink juice boxes?"

I gave a bashful look as I grabbed two beers, slamming the door with my foot and walking towards the bed. "It's a guilty pleasure of mine."

I watched as she cracked open the opening with her freshly manicured nails and took a sip; her brown, cocoa skin creating a beautiful contrast against the white beer can. She was a mere freshman, a tender age of eighteen and a childhood friend of Suzie's. I agreed to mentor her and show her around campus for her first semester of college after a week of Suzie begging and threatening to beat me if I denied. She was about Angelica's height, graced long, dark artificial locks of Malaysian hair, and was very…shapely; her large busts, thick thighs, wide hips, and round ass making any man on campus turn and grow hard at the very sight of her. Since there were very few African-Americans on campus to begin with, it was hard to forget a pretty young woman such as April. I would have found her attractive, sexually and mentally, as well if I was not helplessly in love and infatuated with Angelica. I sighed.

"What's the matter?"

"Just thinking about my girlfriend." I took a swig of my beer. "I haven't spoken to her in two days and it is really bothering me."

She shot me a sympathetic look, placing a soft hand against my own. "What happened?"

"We got into a…disagreement and she took it the wrong way?"

"What about?"

An eyebrow quickly rose. I took another swig of beer. "I…rather not talk about it if you don't mind. It is a bit personal."

She smiled in understanding. She placed her can atop of my night stand, inching closer to me. "Well, if I was your girlfriend…I would never do anything to hurt you, Chuckie."

"Thank you for that."

She began purring, growing closer. I began to sweat. "Maybe she does not deserve you."

I coughed nervously, clearing my throat. "Maybe we should get back to…"

She cut me off, straddling my lap and pushing me against my wooden headboard. It knocked violently against the wall behind me as the loud crash of my beer can hitting the floor echoed throughout my small room. My eyes grew wide as I watched April begin to undress herself, exposing a pink and green bra, a tattoo of a butterfly on her left shoulder, and a turquoise belly ring. My mind went blank.

"I think we should continue this break, hm?" She threw her sweatshirt onto Roger's side of the room and began to suckle on the conjunction of my neck and shoulder, biting slightly. "I really like you, Chuckie." She whispered, licking my ear. "I have had a crush on you since the moment I set eyes on you at my orientation."

"A-april…ngh!" she licked my weak spot behind my ear; the only spot that could make my entire boy grow numb and my cock hard. Angelica found that spot the night we went off to prom and has yet not ceased to amaze me on what she could do to my body. "I have a girlfriend…"

I felt her begin to palm my aching member through the confinements of my tightening denim jeans. She slowly began to unbutton my them and pull down my zipper. I felt my mouth grow dry. "You haven't been happy with her. I heard from Suzie and a few of your friends in her Philosophy class you and her have been having quite a few issues." She massaged my growing erection through the fabric of my boxers. "A good man such as you should not have to put up with unnecessary bullshit."

My eyes began to flutter as I felt myself loosing control. I began to grip the bed sheets as I felt the cool mist of air hit the tip of my erection. A small, wet lick was placed against me. "April…" I felt myself moan as her hot, wet mouth lower onto my cock, hard sucking following, tongue gently stroking in unison. She began to bob her head and I instinctively thrust deeper down her throat. "Stop…"

"Doesn't look like you want me to." She paused, pulling me all the way out of my boxers. She gazed lovingly at my sex and hungrily began to nibble on my shaft. "You like this, hm?"

_Fuck. _"April…" I groaned and mentally began to replay images of Angelica in my head. This had to stop. I shoved her away and scurried to my feet, stumbling as I racked against my night stand. I knocked over the lamp Kira had given to me at my going away party. Shaky hands began to fumble with my zipper as I began to compose myself. My heart began to ache and the guilt had finally settled in, "Be gone by the time I get back."

My voice came out stonier than I had wanted but I was a mixture of emotions. I quickly grabbed my cell phone and raced out my room, grabbing my leather jacket. I heard April try and say something but I slammed the door behind me before she could say another word. My hands and feet felt weak and I had a difficult time walking. I could barely zip up my jacket as I was kissed with the cool autumn night air. I glanced at my phone and noticed I had a missed call and a text- both from Angelica. My heart raced.

_We need to talk. Please call me when you can- Gelly._

_Shit. _I was in need of a drink.

**A/N: Ok, I am officially back. I just been so busy being caught up with school and work that I almost lost my passion for writing. But don't fret kittens, I won't leave anyone in limbo. I promise to wrap things up with these two soon and I already have a sequel planned. It'll be "T" so everyone can enjoy ^_^ **

**S/N: If I offended anyone, it was not my intent. I know some readers are very fragile and do not take well with some forms of creative expression. Before anyone decides to call the SWAT team, don't forget that I am black myself so hush. Hope you all enjoyed my story. Updates this week**

**Peace and Blessings, SensuallyPassionate**


	5. Broken Hearts

**A/N: No one shoot! I am so sorry for not updating this. To be COMPLETELY honest, I forgot all about this story because I lost passion for it. But I stumbled on a few reviews and I was so happy. I am eternally grateful for your readership guys and humbly thankful. I hope I haven't lost a few readers due to lack of updates. I vow to wrap this up ASAP. Enjoy**

**Angelica**

I nervously rubbed the rim of my coffee mug, staring at the lukewarm liquid as I added in more unnecessary cream and sugar. I wasn't even planning on drinking the damn thing; I only bought it because the bitch at the diner said I could not sit and wait without buying something. So, to shut her mouth, I shelled out my last few dollars on some coffee and a burnt English muffin. I let out a low sigh, contemplating on what to say to him.

Chuckie and I haven't spoken in three months since our breakup and I was surprised to get a call from him this evening to sit down and finally talk about things. I felt empty and cold inside, even the leather jacket I wore not heating my frigid heart. I told Chuckie about the drunken night with the Jamaican man and all the other men I blew in the course of our relationship. I told him I didn't start acting out until the divorce between my mother and father was finalized and Drew had moved into his new home with his new family. I didn't know how to cope and was unsure of myself so I resorted to the only thing I knew: sex. Apparently Chuckie was too brokenhearted to really sympathize with me and it only made matters worse.

"_The hell, Angelica!?"_

_I gripped onto his sweatshirt for dear life, balling my eyes out as I begged him to stay. "Charles, I'm sorry. I swear it was only that one time and the furthest I ever went with anyone was oral sex."_

"_That's it, huh?" he said in a snarky, sarcastic tone. He violently pulled away from me, knocking over the books and random shit atop of his desk. He screamed, pulling his orange locks. I buried my head in my hands. _

"_Chuckie…"_

"_Don't say my name!"_

"_Chuckie…please…."_

"_Don't say my name!"_

_I sniffled again, this time looking up at him. His back was turned away from me; his hands in his pockets. I could tell he was trying to ebb his anger in order to not hurt me or damage a room he couldn't pay for. I got up from his bed, slowly slinking towards my beloved to wrap my arms around him. He turned around too quickly for me to react, shoving me against his bed. "Don't fucking touch me!"_

"_Charles!" I screamed as I tried to calm him down. I had never seen Chuckie so irate in my life. I was one of the few people that new Chuckie had a temper on him. I never would have guessed the shy, timid little boy I grew up with would have such a nasty anger problem when he grew into adulthood. It took a lot to make Charles angry and the problem wasn't getting him angry, it was calming him down. People often times mistakenly bullied Chuckie in high-school because they thought he was an easy target. One afternoon when I was not there due to severe menstrual cramps, some jock ex-boyfriend of Savannah's said something foul about Chuckie's deceased mother that set him off. Before I knew it, I was headed down to the Flint police station with a couple hundred in bail money; urging the poor boy's parents to not press assault and battery charges against Chuckie. I was not exactly sure what transpired but all I knew was that it took seven security guards to get him off Trent. _

_Seeing my love this angry was something I had never seen before and it damn near frightened me. "Angelica, I think it's best you leave."_

_I grew mute, trying to find the right words to say. "…Chuckie…"_

"_Don't say my name!" he roared, shoving me again. I fell back against the headboard, knocking the back of my skull. If I wasn't so terrified I would have gotten angry. "I don't want to hurt you Angelica so you better go…" his voice trailed off into a low growl._

_My breathing grew heavy as I tried in a last attempt to salvage our relationship. I felt my heart break into pieces watching the man I loved more than life itself become so angry at what I had done. I didn't even care that some freshman tried to suck him off hours before; I was more concerned as to if I would wake up with a boyfriend…my husband. "Charles…please just talk to me."_

"_Get out, Angelica…."_

"_Charles…"_

"_Get out, Angelica…." He repeated again, this time with more bass in his tone. He moved towards the door, opening it for me. I clutched myself, feeling hot pelts of tears begin to stream down my face. "I won't say it again."_

"_But, if you would just listen to me…!" I couldn't even finish my sentence before he lunged towards me to grab my forearm; dragging me kicking and screaming to the doorway before he tossed me out into the hall. I felt myself curl into fetal position, tears coursing against my cheeks as I scream for forgiveness. A few of his floormates opened their doors to see what was going on, a few even coming to my aid and berating Chuckie for treating me so inhumanely. But he was justified. I had broken his heart and it was shattered when he slammed the door in my face._

That scene still replays in my dreams over and over again on the nightly basis. For the first month, I would call and text him non-stop; even begging to even get the smallest response back but my attempts were foiled. From what I hear, Chuckie had slept with April the evening he threw me out and went on this huge 'fucking' spree the majority part of the remainder of the semester. I decided after a month of trying to get back into his good graces, I would leave him alone to lick his wounds. I couldn't blame him for bedding other women. The woman he loved had just spat out his heart like rancid meat when all he had done was been good to me.

I felt my stomach grow a bit queasy at the smell of my burnt English muffin. I was still a bit sore from earlier in the week when I had gotten an abortion. I found out three weeks ago that I was pregnant after I had forgotten that I had missed my period a few weeks before. I was so busy trying to get my life back on track that I didn't notice the binge eating, sudden weight gain, and vomiting were symptoms of pregnancy. I wasn't sure if it was Charles' baby or the random Jamaican man whose name and address are long forgotten so to save myself heartbreak I decided to do what not only best for me but the child. I didn't tell anyone about it, not even my mother; only Suzie because her mother is a doctor and she was the one who performed the procedure. Suzie held my hand throughout the entire process and even consoled me afterwards. She bought me ice-cream, Chinese take-out, and took me back to her place so I wouldn't be in an empty house again to deal with my sudden trauma.

I glanced at my phone, tapping the blank screen in boredom before I heard the bell of the front door of the diner jingle. In a fleece jacket and jeans stood my beloved, looking more masculine than I remembered. It was clear he had hit the gym more- more than likely to work off stress and frustrations of our breakup- and I noticed his facial hair grew out a little bit more. His goatee was now a little thicker with a small, thin line trailing alongside his chin as a beard. I swallowed hard as our eyes finally met for the first time in three months. He took a seat across from me and ordered a small coffee when the waitress had immediately came over upon his arrival. She was being a tad bit flirtatious but didn't make any sudden moves due to her ignorance of our relationship status.

I began to pant slightly, feeling my chest tighten as I gripped my mug even harder. I tried not to make eye-contact, fighting back the sudden wave of tears that rushed over me. I grabbed the lone menu from behind the salt shaker to shield my face, faking like I was scanning the options to order. The waitress quickly came back with his coffee and even gave him a complimentary blueberry muffin with her number scribbles on the napkin beneath it. I heard him chuckle smoothly, thanking her for her kindness. I closed my eyes tight, fighting back the tears that I knew I could not control. This was becoming too much for me to handle. I was not ready.

"Are you going to pretend to look over the menu to avoid us talking, Angelica?"

I bit my bottom lip, still holding it over my face. I finally spoke. "Can it, Finster. I am scanning the fucking options here."

I guess he heard the sadness in my croaked voice because he placed his finger against to tip of the plastic to push it down towards the table. He gently grabbed it from me and tossed it to the side. My eyes were bloodshot and I was grateful I decided to re-cut my bangs again. It at least hid a little bit of my sorrow. "Angelica, you are not fooling anyone."

I gruffed, looking down at my forgotten coffee. "I was surprised you called me…"

"I wanted to tell you in person instead of having it flow to you through the grapevine."

I shot up at him, looking intently. I felt my heart stop in my chest. "What is it?"

He took a pregnant pause, sipping his coffee before he answered me. "I'm transferring school for the spring semester."

"W-what?" I mumbled, still unsure if I heard him correctly. "W-what?"

"I applied for spring admission to Yale and though they normally don't admit underclassmen with less than 35 credit hours in the spring term, I was made as an exception. I leave the week after Christmas."

Those same tears I had previously tried to fight off were now coming back in full-force. I fought my hardest to not show emotion but the news got the best of me. Contrary to belief, I was not stupid. I knew Charles had only stayed in Michigan because of me. I knew that bologna of him liking the damn libraries at Flint was some lies he fed to me to make me feel better about myself but I knew it was not the real reason he stayed.

I looked down again, this time accidentally letting a single tear slip into my coffee. I didn't dare look at him. "I'm happy for you. You need to be at some smart school, Finster. You need to be with the nerds that are meant to save the world like you."

I felt him reach out his hand to touch mine but I pulled away, still not looking up at him. "You know, I was even wondering when you would leave this town and go off on your own. Yale is one of those fancy, uppity universities you are meant to be at and I'm sure you're going to do well there."

"Angelica," his voice was soft, non-threatening yet deep and husky. It made me forget to breath. "Can you please look at me?"

I shook my head, finally clutching the mug with all my might. I didn't realize I had gripped it too hard before it cracked against me. I grew startled, only to find myself fully shedding tears after. A few of the waitresses came to the table to help me but I brushed them off and told him I would clean it up. Chuckie had stood to help me but I pushed him away as well. I threw away the many napkins I had soiled and excused myself; leaving the rest of my change to cover Chuckie's drink. I heard him call after me but I was not strong enough to deal with the news. I knew I had fucked up and I had no right to be upset at the news that he was planning on finishing his studies elsewhere; but I was naïve to think that maybe he wanted to start over.

As much as I knew Chuckie was hurting and taking out his frustrations in the wrong way, I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him; if not more. Word of our breakup got to everyone, including the parents, but details were iffy. All they knew was that maybe some time apart could do is good since we been together so long and if it was meant to be, we would come back together naturally. I tried to tell myself that over and over again but the mantra just would not stick. The stories of Charles getting sucked off by random bimbos and screwing them to his heart's desires were getting to me. I had made a great mistake in letting the man I loved out of my life and I was unsure if I could ever truly fix it.

I removed my hat from my jacket pocket to shield myself from the forceful winter winds of Michigan. I heard Chuckie yell out for me as I crossed the street; telling me he would give me a ride home but I ignored him and ran off into anywhere. I found myself in the back of a general store to catch my breath, searching for the business card I was given a month ago from my mother's friend.

_ Dr. Lyles -Psychologist _

_Specializes in Psychotherapy dealing with addictions and trauma in young adults and teens. _


	6. Blue boxes and Snow

**Chuckie**

"Merry Christmas, Chuck!"

"Merry Christmas, Dude!"

I met my plastic cup filed with eggnog towards Tommy's and Phil's, having a customary Christmas toast once the clocked hit midnight. I watched as our parents embraced each other, Phil's mom being more aggressive as usual, as my father and step-mother kissed under the mistletoe. I smiled, watching from afar at our families celebrate the joyous event of Christmas. Every year, my father would throw his annual Christmas party and invite everyone over for drinks, good food, and a jolly time filled with Christmas carols, horrendous sweaters, and spiked eggnog antics towards the closing of the night. I took a small sip of mine, nodding in delight. I wasn't much of a drinker but eggnog with rum was pretty delicious.

"What do you guys think of the eggnog?"

Phil was on his fifth cup and was already feelings a bit too 'good'. "Your dad sure knows how to make a decent drink."

Tommy chuckled, taking the half-empty cup away from Phil. "You are done, my man. No more for you."

I scanned the room, watching my sister and Lil exchange their gifts as Suzie cuddled up to her boyfriend, Adam. Apparently, Kimmy got Lil a charm bracelet and Lil bought Kimmy one of those designer purses she had been eyeing at the mall for awhile. Adam had given Suzie her gift an hour ago, a heart shaped necklace with a personalized inscription inside that remained an inside joke between the two. I thought it was sweet.

I took another sip of my eggnog, watching Charlotte and, surprisingly, Drew remain at bay from one another. The entire evening had been nothing but tension between them two and it was best they distanced themselves further away for the sake of the peace. Over dinner, Charlotte called Drew out for having an affair and leaving her and Angelica for another family, but Stu managed to calm her down and bring everything back together. It was a little awkward after that little fiasco with Tommy's family but it eventually morphed back into the holiday spirit.

My father grabbed one of his vintage records from the garage, a Christmas album from none other than Frank Sinatra himself. A favorite song of both me and my father began to waft through our home, everyone beginning to sing along to a classic. I noticed that the one person I had not seen majority of the night was sitting alone near the Christmas tree, staring at the snow that had just begun to fall. Everyone knew the status of me and Angelica's relationship even though they were not certain why we broke up in the first place. When she and her family came late, a small spell of silence blanketed the room except for Suzie who was the first to speak and embrace Angelica and her family. She avoided eye-contact with me and barely said a word the entire night. On a few occasions she tried to get her mother's keys to drive home but she refused to ride in the same car as her father so her chances of escaping where slim to none.

I inhaled a deep breath, setting my eggnog on the countertop before excusing myself from both Tommy and Phil. Phil was too drunk to notice what was going on but Tommy knew and gave me a 'look'. I assured him it was ok. Our parents may not have known what happened, but the gang was well informed and distanced themselves from Angelica as a result. It was not my intention but I could not control their actions more than I could obviously control hers. I had not seen Angelica since the day I asked her for coffee and she ran out when I told her about me transferring schools. She took the news rather hard but I wanted to be man enough to tell her myself rather than have her find out through her cousin. That was almost two weeks ago and I was scheduled to leave in six days for Connecticut.

"Merry Christmas, Angelica." I spoke softly. She looked up at me, as if she were crying before forcing a small smile.

"Merry Christmas, Finster."

"You mind if I sit next to you?"

"Free country."

I chuckled and took a spot next to her. From the angle of everyone else, we were nestled behind the tree; directly in front of all the lights against the curtains of my living room window. No one could see us but we could see them. "You alright? You have not said anything all evening."

"I don't want to be here." She whispered.

I remained quiet for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to say. "Why not?"

She turned to face me, eyes still pink, puffy, and glossed over with hidden tears. She bit the inside of her bottom lip, choking back an obvious sob before sniffling. "You already know why, Charles. It's just awkward being in your house and around you after three months of us not talking."

I let out a low sigh, beginning to fiddle with the sleeves of my wool sweater. "Angelica, you know why we aren't together. I feel I am justified in wanting some time to clear my head and be alone."

"You are." She shot back. "I'm not upset that you did that. It's just hard is all…taking everything in."

"Angelica…" my voice trailed off. My heart wanted to console the woman I loved and reassure her that everything would be ok. But I could not manage to force myself to go against what I felt. I felt betrayed and hurt by Angelica cheating on me. To know that she gave oral sex to over three hundred men over the course of our relationship and slept with a random guy she met at a bar made me cringe in disgust but coil in hatred. Not only did she put her life in danger but mine as well. Angelica and I rarely used protection and upon finding all this out, I immediately went and got tested for everything. I still loved Angelica and would always love her, I just was not sure if we could ever be together again.

"Please, don't say anything. You don't need to pity me."

I grabbed her hand, grasping it tight as I placed a small kiss against her tender flesh. "I love you, Angelica. Don't forget that."

That summoned a wave of tears I was not prepared for, she immediately hiding it by turning away against the window to continue to watch the snow fall. I reached under the tree and grabbed the small box I had nestled behind my gifts for Kimmy, Kira, and my father. I handed it to Angelica and she looked a bit puzzled. I told her I bought it back in March and had planned to give it to her on New Year's Eve but given the change of events, I thought I just give it to her as a gift. Because I bought it months ago, my receipt for return was invalid and even if had not been…I could not allow myself to return _her_ present.

She slowly tore open the papered covered box to reveal a baby blue _Tiffany's_ ring box wrapped in the signature white ribbon. She immediately stopped, tears flooding down her face again as she opened it to reveal a princess cut diamond ring. I had planned to propose to Angelica on New Year's Eve and despite the fact that we were young, I knew…or so I thought…she was the one I wanted to marry in the end. She removed it from its holder, gazing at the glistening gems that sparkled against the light. There was a small, silver chain wrapped inside the band to be made into a necklace now that it would no longer be on her ring finger. She began to sob uncontrollably into her hands.

Charlotte was the first person to hear her daughter over the timbre of Frank, signaling my father to turn down the music. She came to her aid, cradling Angelica in her arms. She asked repeatedly what was wrong, Drew following suit as he came over to us. Tommy, Phil, Lil, Kimmy, and Suzie all grew concerned at the sudden commotion, asking me what was wrong with Angelica. I remained silent, feeling myself, also, come to tears. I hated seeing the woman I loved like this, but my heart could not allow myself to trust her again. To make matters worse, I don't even know what possessed her to hurt me the way she did and as much as I wanted to know, I didn't know how to ask. So much time had passed and with me leaving in a few days and now this, I didn't think it mattered anymore.

"Chuck, what's going on?" My father called out, removing his Santa hat. By now all the adults were gathered in the living room with the rest of us. "Is Angelica hurt?"

I shook my head, finally standing to walk over to my forgotten eggnog to down the rest of it. I felt the need to suddenly get wasted to numb myself of this bitter, empty feeling. Drew was the one that spotted the box, screeching out a slew of profanities before Charlotte let out a loud gasp.

"What is it?" Tommy asked, genuinely worried.

Drew didn't even have to answer. My father knew exactly what had happened and came to embrace me in an overdue hug. I watched through misty eyes as Angelica broke free from her mother grasp, snatching the box from her father's grasp. She wiped away the trails of mascara from her face before closing the lid. She placed the ring on the sofa next to her, saying not one word. Suzie tried to hug her once she saw but Angelica pushed her away. Instead, she marched right up to me and kissed me. That kiss was nothing like what we had ever shared before. It was filled with more passion, lust, and longing than any other kiss we had given each other. As much as my mind told me to pull away, my heart would not dare allow me to and I only desired to deepen it; wrapping my arms around her waist as she held my face between her manicured hands.

I heard a few words spoken, Betty giving a loud wolf whistle against Kira's "Oh my!" Angelica pulled away, giving me a final hug.

"I'm sorry, Finster. I'm so sorry. I know my apology means nothing but know I love you so damn much that my heart has been broken since we broke up." She breathed. "I know I cheated on you and I know I did some things I am not proud of, but know I am starting therapy for my sex and narcotic addictions and even going to AA for help with my alcoholism."

That was new to me. I had no idea Angelica even had addictions. "W-wait, addicitons?"

She nodded, continuing. "I even am starting therapy to help get over my issues with my father and the anger and resentment I have for his family. I just want you to know that I apologize and…I love you…but I can't accept your ring. You should give it to the woman you marry…not some slut like me."

Before I could say anything, Angelica had raced out the front door. Her mother screamed after her, grabbing her coat, purse, and keys as her father stood there looking ashamed and dumbfounded. Everyone started to talk amongst themselves, Stu even going as far as to blame his brother for raising such a loose daughter. Tommy's mom got in between them to stop a possible fist match. Lil and Kimmy came over to comfort me as my father told me we would have a man to man talk in the morning when everything finally died down. I just brushed them all off and found myself slumping up the stairs to my room, unable to feel much of anything. April was still asleep from earlier after dinner, lying in my bed half-naked waiting on me.

I kicked off my slippers underneath the bed and tugged off my pants and polo, removing my glasses to place them atop my dresser. I guess my moving woke her up, she smiling as she rubbed her eyes in the cutest way she possibly knew. Wordlessly she moved towards the edge of the bed, exposing her chest as she came in for a kiss. I returned the favor, placing her against my down comforter as I moved the fabric of her panties aside. Her skilled hands slinked inside my boxers to remove my stiffened length to nestle inside her hot sex. I closed my eyes as I began to move within her, soft, shallow moans ringing in my ear as my headboard creaked gently against the crisp winter winds. All I could do was envision that dark-skinned goddess beneath me was the woman I wanted more than life itself…Angelica Pickles.


	7. Rain and Peppermints

**Angelica**

"Whenever you're ready, Angelica."

I kept playing with my sweater, finally tearing a hole near my thumb for it to poke through. I began nibbling on a hangnail, coughing at swallowing some of the chipped paint. Dr. Lyles continued to smile, his hands peacefully crossed against his chest as he waited for me to finally speak. Since my outburst at Christmas, I have been holding on to whatever thread of sanity I had left. My mother paid for up the three months worth of therapy and even wrote a check to Dr. Lyles if it was decided that I was not fully recovered after the scheduled ninety days. I found myself relapsing the evening after Christmas. I did not go home when I left Chuckie's house but found myself at an old friend's. He let me in after I gave him a blowjob in his car and let me stay the night there. I did just about anything to get my mind off what I had done at Chuckie's house that I even took to taking prescription valium and passing out in his mother's kitchen.

I woke up, startled, to him pouring water on me and then screwing me until my sex grew sore from chaffing. I wasn't even aroused; my head was somewhere else where I wish my body would take me. He kicked me out shortly after and I walked home smelling like sex, alcohol, and feeling a bitch of a migraine. Apparently my mother and father were out searching for me until the wee hours of the morning and asked my uncle Stu and aunt DiDi to help. There was a whole rescue party out for me until around six that morning. My mom was the first to embrace me when I came home, shelling hard pelts of tears against my jacket. My father didn't bother to look me in the eye since he felt responsible for causing this to happen to both me and my mother. He gave a call to everyone letting them know I was safe.

"What am I supposed to fucking say?"

"Anything you want."

"What if I don't want to talk to some stranger with a tacky comb over?"

He chuckled to my surprise, finding my attitude somewhat amusing. I kept messing with my sweater, not daring to look at him. "Is it that bad? I thought it at least did me some kind of justice."

I scoffed, finding his reaction funny. "Why do you want to talk to me anyhow? I'm not crazy."

"You don't have to be considered 'crazy' to see a therapist, Angelica. Some people just want someone to talk to that they know won't give a biased opinion."

"Why would your opinion matter to me?" I shot back, finding myself getting angry. I didn't know why but his smug attitude made me want to punch him in the left nut sack. "You don't know me."

"I want to help you."

"Why?"

"Because you are going through a rough time and I think you don't know to release your frustrations."

"Yeah I do." I countered, crossing my arms across my chest. I gave him a side glance. "I do just fine."

He began to scribble something down in the notepad he had resting in his lap, still smiling. He looked back up at me. "How do you take out your frustrations, Angelica?"

"Sex…alcohol….other things…." He wrote something again, this time without the smile. I immediately got worried. "You better not tell anyone this shit!"

"I assure you, Angelica, that everything you say to me will remain completely confidential." His smile came back. "Your parents won't even know what you tell me, even if they ask."

I grew quiet, feeling a little bit better but still a tad uneasy. I looked out his office window, gazing down the twenty-three stories onto the streets of downtown. His office reminded me of when I would visit my mother's downtown office when I was a little girl. Her assistant, Jonathan, would constantly run around satiating my desires for everything from candy to new Cynthia clothing sets. I think he genuinely hated me.

"You have a nice view."

"Thank you. Have you ever been this high up before?" I nodded, informing him about my mother's old office. "Does she still work there now?"

"Nah, she quit when my father divorced us. She just lounges around the house now collecting the fat alimony checks from my father."

He wrote something else in his notepad. "I noticed you said your father divorced 'us'. Why you a plural sense of the word?"

I shrugged, getting up from my chair to pace back and forth around his desk. I rubbed my nails against a few knickknacks he had lying about as well as the candy dish he had next to his nameplate. I asked if I could have a few and he encouraged I do so. I popped a soft peppermint into my mouth, sucking on its flavor like I was born to do. "He left us for a new family so when he divorced my mom, he divorced me too."

"Do you maintain a close relationship with him?"

I shook my head, taking another peppermint. "No, we don't speak unless on holidays. You only met him when he came to drop me off because my mom is sick. He would rather be at home with his foreign wife and new daughter than some fuck up like me."

There he goes with that damn notepad again. I asked him what he was writing and he simply replied with important details of our conversation. I told him again that if any word of our conversation had gotten out to anyone I would hurt him. He reassured me with another soft smile that everything said in this room would be locked in a file cabinet. The folder that the transcripts go in won't even have my legal name; just a randomized number to show anonymity.

"Why do you refer to yourself as 'fucked up', Angelica?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, getting annoyed. I was not used to people asking me a million questions about matters that did not concern them. Usually, whenever someone was this nosey I would deck them in the face and threaten to do worse if they kept it up. But Dr. Lyles was kind, sweet, and gentle and did not come off intimidating. "I guess I just am. I'm barely in school, lost my boyfriend, have a father that doesn't want me, and I can't function on the day-to-day basis without masturbating at least ten times a day."

"And why is that?"

I shrugged. "It keeps me from going out and sucking off a random guy I don't know."

"Does that curb your desires, Angelica?"

"Yes, sucking cock gets me off. It keeps me from actually opening my legs."

He nodded, writing another thing down in his notepad. His tone grew a little more serious. "How many would you say…"

"Over a thousand if I had to guess." I finished for him. His eyes bulged a little bit in response but he kept quiet. "I'm also an Aries, enjoy long walks on the beach, enjoy mashed potatoes and gravy, and I have no gag reflex so guys love that."

"I'm on your side here, Angelica. No need to grow testy." He spoke softly, smiling. "How many sexual partners have you had?"

"Three."

"Only three?"

I sucked in my teeth, wanting to slap the shit out of him for even questioning me. I'm not some total whore that gives it up to everyone contrary to belief. I did have some remnants of my morals and standards. "Yes, asshole, three people. My ex-boyfriend, some Black guy, and a guy I knew in High-School."

"Do you mind if we talk about your ex-boyfriend?"

I cringed at the thought. I was not ready to face the reality of us being broken up, let alone discuss how and why I hurt him. When I found out Charles was out there with the rest of my search party looking for me, my heart sank because-unintentionally- I was hurting him again. I just could not stop breaking that man's heart, even when we weren't together. He called my cell-phone a few times and left countless of messages but I ignored every single one of them to get high. Even after my father had alerted everyone I was safe, he tried to come over to talk to me but my mother turned him away; afraid of awakening another episode of mine. I watched from my bedroom window as he got back in his truck, sitting in my driveway for a few moments before driving away.

Since then, I changed my number and only gave it to Suzie and my uncle Stu because my mother made me- though he vowed to not give it to Tommy or anyone else. I didn't want Chuckie contacting me; my heart could no longer take it. I knew he had every right to break up with me, but I was just not ready to even talk to him about it; let alone try and be friends for the sake of peace. Tomorrow he was supposed to leave to go to Connecticut and today was New Year's Eve. I tried to get drunk this morning to numb the pain of knowing that by now I would be an engaged bride-to-be but since finding out about my demons, my mother and father threw out all the liquor in the house and kept a more watchful eye on me. I laughed at how ironic it is now that they show me attention and care what happens to me, but when I was younger would leave me at home for hours on end with nothing but a few credit card numbers and a flat screen television. You can't talk about your day and what happened at school to the Oprah show…I tried.

That's why I was so grateful I had Chuckie. Every day afterschool he would come over and keep me company until my parents came home- if they came home at all. He would cook me dinner, run me a nice warm bubble bath, massage my feet, and cuddle with me to the nostalgic reruns of Reptar. Looking back on everything, I knew in my heart I did not deserve Finster. I may have had the money and the fancy things, but his heart was made of pure gold while I mine grew cold and bleak over the years. Nevertheless, Charles stayed with me, loved me, and stood by me through my best and worst moments all without me ever asking him about his. I was a terrible girlfriend to him and he truly deserved someone better than me.

I broke down crying, unable to mask my emotions anymore. I was not as strong as I let other to believe. Dr. Lyles tried to hand me a few tissues but I pushed them away. I grabbed my jacket and asked if we could end things a bit early today. He nodded and told me he'll see me in the New Year and to try and enjoy my evening. I needed some fresh air and definitely needed to get away from my problems. I took the stairs down to the ground level since the elevator was being too damn slow and tried to hail a taxi. I wanted to go to the nearest bar and get shitfaced but I had no cash on me. I remembered I had my father's credit card in my wallet and suddenly grew irate. Before I could even get in the cab that had stopped for me, I felt a soft hand grab my shoulder.

I turned around, ready to knock the shit out of someone for having the audacity to touch me before I saw a six foot Finster; holding a large umbrella over me to shield me from the rain. I was so lost in my mind that I did not even notice that it had stopped snowing and turned into a light drizzle of rain.

"You getting in or what?" the driver yelled.

"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed, slamming the door. He flipped me the bird before he drove off into rush hour traffic. I wanted to react but I felt Chuckie's gloved hand kiss the side of my face, bringing my eyes to connect with his. The softness of his oceanic realms soothed me and made me grow weak.

He brought me in for a small kiss on my forehead before wrapping his free arm around me. I suddenly felt the chill of winter against my skin and wished I had worn a heavier jacket. He silently held me, closing his eyes as he placed another innocent kiss against me. I felt myself break down again, hoping that he would not notice the tears that were beginning to soak his jacket and mistake them for the rain. He pulled away from me, grabbing my hand to lead me to his parked truck on the side of the office building. I mindlessly followed, not caring where he took me.


	8. Happy New Year

**A/N: Thank you for the continued support for this story. I LOVE Chuckie and Angelica together and they are my favorite Rugrats couple. Hope you enjoy my dark, twisted fantasies.**

**Chapter Theme Song: 'Marvin's Room' by: JoJo (Drake Cover)**

"_Man, oh, man I am a ready to get wasted."_

_I let out a low chuckle, finishing up the text I was sending Eduardo, my new roommate, about my expected arrival in two days and arbitrary Holiday greetings. April leaned over my shoulder, being highly invasive and paranoid about whom I was texting. Since the little…fiasco at Christmas dinner last week, she had been skeptical of my relationship with Angelica. After dinner, she went upstairs to lay down in my bed for about twenty minutes but those twenty minutes turned into two hours; she missing the huge blowout between Charlotte and Drew, the-almost fight- between Drew and Tommy's dad, and me giving Angelica the engagement ring I had bought months before as her only Christmas present. She found out the morning after over breakfast about what had transpired during her absence and she did not take too kindly Angelica causing so much of a scene. She especially didn't like how I went out to look for her after she stormed out. _

_I shot her a deathly glare, getting irritated. April and I were barely together, let alone did we ever discuss us being 'exclusive'. The last thing I wanted to do was lose myself and become this cold, callous inhuman creature; but I was not ready for a relationship again. I just got out of a relationship that lasted almost eight years and the last thing on my mind was commitment. I knew that April had deep-seeded feelings for me, but what I did not know is how to keep our 'relationship' to a minimum while she fell madly in love with me. The Christmas morning, she woke me up to a surprise, sensual blowjob and afterwards told me how much she was falling in love with me. I did not know what to say. I was not trying to be an asshole or a womanizer-that was Tommy's self-proclaimed department. I just wanted to get my head free from Angelica and at least attempt to get over her. I don't know when sex and intimacy came into the equation but I was a lost puppy looking to lick his wounds when April had taken me in and it only spiraled downward from there. _

"_Phil, you need to relax on those drinks."_

"_I second Chuck on this one, Philly." Tommy chimed in, wrapping his arm around some girl he brought over for the night. Her name was Elizabeth and knowing Tommy, she had low standards and was bound to open her legs up to him on command. That Tommy. "Chill out and get one of those honeys that came with Suzie and Kimi."_

_I looked around at our 'party'. My father had allowed me to throw a small house party for New Years Eve since he, Kira, and the rest of the adults were doing to be downtown until tomorrow afternoon at some big jazz concert and dinner show. It was a small, intimate gathering of just the gang and a few friends and friends we knew from college. Suzie brought a lot of sorority girls while Kimi brought a few of her dancer friends who were in town for the holidays. Tommy had invited a few folks over from his own frat and they brought a few women but overall, the place was not crowded yet it still became a nice turnout. _

"_That blonde has been checking you out all night, Phil." I replied. "She looks pretty cute too."_

_Phil looked in the direction of the woman, shyly waving as he fixed his cheese-stained shirt and greasy hair. "Should I make a move?"_

_Tommy nodded, urging him to go forth and get the little 'hussy'. "Make sure you get some action tonight too, man." He stamped with a wink._

_Phil had given him a thumbs up before disappearing into the small crowd dancing in the middle of my living room. I shook my head at Tommy, chuckling. Who would have known he would turn out to be such the Casanova? "Must everything be about women with you?"_

_He shrugged, smiling before he took another vodka shot. "Can't live with them, can't live without them, Chuck."_

"_You two are such pigs." Kimi giggled, coming over to sit next to me and April. _

_I held my hands up defensively, waving frantically. "That's not me!"_

_She rolled her eyes, reaching for the punch bowl full of chips set atop the coffee table under my feet. She grabbed a few, crunching loudly as she asked Tommy to fix her a shot of her own. "Whatever, you can't tell me you aren't checking out any of the women here. That's all you guys practically invited."_

"_He's not." April shot back icily. She received a few quizzical glances, especially the one from me, before she cleared her throat to smooth things over. "I meant to say, that I been with him all evening and not once has he wandered from me."_

_Now would be a good time since she was becoming super possessive. I learned the hard way that mixing in unrequited feelings with sex only concocted a whirlwind of mess I was not necessarily ready to deal with as of yet. April took a small look around, getting a sense of the awkward tension she had created. She excused herself to disappear into the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief, finally sending that forgotten message to Eduardo. _

"_She is in love with me."_

"_We can see that." Kimi said sarcastically, munching on more potato chips. "I thought you said you guys were friends?"_

"_We are…." I paused, trying to word my next sentence carefully. As close as I was to my sister, we would never be close enough to openly talk about our sex lives. I knew Kimi was not a virgin and I was quite sure she knew I had my share of nights in the sheets- especially with Angelica; but we just pretended and chose to ignore it._

"_That was before he banged the broad." Tommy quipped, downing another vodka shot. I shot him a small glance, wanting to punch him in the face for saying that aloud…in front of my sister._

_Kimi looked disgusted, flinching away from me. I laughed. "I could have lived my life knowing full well you did not do the erotic tango with some girl you barely know."_

"_She isn't a complete stranger." Tommy defended. "At least he remembers her name. I don't know half of the women I bed, but I do it anyway."_

"_That's because you are a total man-whore, Tommy." Lil sing-songed, appearing with Suzie; both completely decked out in New Year's attire and party hats. She sipped her punch. "I'm surprised you haven't gotten a girl pregnant yet."_

"_Let's not speak things as though they won't come true." He said nervously. Tommy had his share of 'scares' with women but turned out to be a completely lucky bastard when it came to being awarded another year of freedom without a kid on the way. His ex-girlfriend, Joann, had a pregnancy scare that made Tommy damn near crap his pants everyday in anticipation. He was so confident that the results would turn on positive that the night she had called him to tell him the 'good' news, he was planning on dropping out of college, getting a full-time job at the supermarket, and filling in his folks about their soon-to-be grandchild. "Let's not forget Joann."_

"_How can we forget?" I chuckled. Tommy flipped me the bird._

"_Hey, hey, hey! Why is my dirty laundry on display everywhere? Let's talk about Chuck here; I'm sure he has had his share of pregnancy scares."_

_I shook my head. Since the breakup with Angelica, I only slept with four women- all of which I used protection and made sure it was all secure and wrapped up tight. It has been over three months since I been that promiscuous and took to solely sleeping with April. Thus far, there haven't been any problems so I knew I was in the clear. Plus, she had told me she was on birth control so a kid on the way was the least of my worries._

"_Nah, April is good and the only other person I could even remotely think of to possibly get pregnant would be…"_

"_Don't say it!" Tommy yelled, covering his ears. We laughed at him. "That's my cousin, man!"_

"_Speaking of Angelica," Lil cut in sweetly. "… did anyone invite her to the party?"_

_There was an awkward veil of silence, all eyes now suddenly glued to me. I sighed. "I don't care if you did invite her. Angelica and I are over."_

"_I invited her…" Suzie spoke softly. "I didn't know if she would come or not but I did send her an invite."_

_Lil groaned. "I don't think I want the awkward tension to fuck with my good time. I'm trying to get white-girl wasted tonight and not worry about her Chuckie avoiding each other."_

"_Plus, I don't think we need another dramatic moment like we had on Christmas." Kimi downed her shot. "Besides, she is probably avoiding you on purpose to make herself feel better about the abortion."_

_I choked on air, damn near dying when I heard the word…abortion. Tommy quickly gave me a bottle of water, I uncapping it with lightening speed to take a desperate gulp. I saw Suzie twitch a little, punching Kimi in the shoulder before whispering something. Kimi frantically apologized, covering her mouth as she tried to beg for forgiveness with Suzie. Suzie pushed her way, clearly irritated, and retreated to the kitchen. Tommy tried to say something, but I brushed right past him and raced after Suzie. _

_My head was spinning, my heart was racing, and to make matters worse I was beginning to feel nauseous. I caught a glimpse of April coming out the kitchen, holding two cups of punch, but I ignored her and went after Suzie. I snatched her by her arm, flinging her around only to be met with a sucker punch to my face. I took a few steps back to collect myself, avoiding the unwanted attention I now created from directing this mass scene._

"_What the hell, Chuckie!?" Suzie spat. "What's your problem?"_

"_What is Kimi talking about?"_

_She fell silent, looking down. "Chuckie…"_

"_Stop it!" I roared, still holding my now throbbing nose. As angry as I wanted to be that she hit me in the face, I had an uneasy feeling take over me. "What is Kimi talking about?"_

"_Chuckie, look, Kimi wasn't supposed to say anything because I wasn't supposed to say anything."_

"_So, it's true?" I breathed, feeling all balance escape me. I had to stabilize myself against my countertop, trying not to knock over the glass bottles of liquor and spill them into the sink. By now, Tommy, Lil, Kimi, Phil, and April had rushed in to see what was going on. "Angelica…had an abortion?"_

_Suzie remained silent, still avoiding making eye-contact with me. I grew irate, feeling myself grasp the neck of a half-empty tequila bottle to crack it against the edge of the countertop. Suzie screamed, rushing backwards when I made a lunge towards her. Both Tommy and Phil tackled me to the ground, wrestling the sharded glass neck out of my hand. Kimi and Lil backed away the growing audience from entering the kitchen as April loomed in the distance. I felt myself grow numb, then enraged again in a spilt-second. I shoved both Tommy and Phil off me, finally about to catch my breath. I glared up at Suzie, curling against my pantry door with fearful eyes. _

"_Have you gone mad!?" She screamed._

"_Answer the damn question!"_

"_I can't!"_

"_Suzie!" I gave one last attempt. I needed to know. Before a few weeks ago, Angelica and I haven't spoken in three months. She tried calling and messaging me, hell, even calling my parent's to tell them to call her, but I ignored her out of fear of hurting her if I was to see her prematurely. Was she trying to tell me she was carrying my child? I grew mute, clenching my hands into fists as I banged against the lanolin floor. Suzie started to cry. "Tell me!"_

"_Yes." She finally spoke… "Yes…"_

I crashed my lips against hers, roaming my masculine hands along the contours of her flawless body. She let out a low moan, her manicured hands fumbling with the opening of my boxers. I pulled away agonizingly slow, watching her squirm and pant heavily as she awaited my touch. I gripped her legs roughly, yanking her down towards the edge of the bed. She let out a low squeak against the crackle of thunder that resonated outside our hotel window. Her hair was a messy halo, outlining her picturesque beauty. Her chest fluctuated up and down, face flushed as she lay most vulnerable before me.

I swallowed, finally stepping out of the last piece of clothing I had. I gently pried her legs open, massaging her nether lips tenderly with another forceful kiss. She gasped, closing her eyes; arching her back only to grip the thin fibers of the cheap hotel sheets in ecstasy. I grabbed the condom that I had near the scratchy pillows, quickly ripping it open before removing the latex ring that I dreadfully slipped on. Throughout the course of our relationship, Angelica and I rarely used protection because she always told me she was on birth control and we had an unbreakable bond of trust that- I thought- led me to believe I could trust her with more than my heart and soul but my body as well. I clenched my eyes shut, finally entering her with one swift thrust into her tight heat.

She moaned out my name, squeezing her muscles against me as I began a slow, steady rhythm to match the rain that pelted against the soft glass. Gripping her waist, I picked up speed, beating against her wet cavern like an African bass drum. She tossed and turned, repeatedly saying my name like a religious mantra as small beads of sweat dripped onto her taut stomach. _Fuck…_

The headboard began to knock against the wall, shaking and stirring the neighbors from their dinner. I heard a woman knock violently against the wall, telling us to keep it down while her husband encouraged me to keep it up. Angelica rose against the tsunami waves of the sheets, propping herself on her elbows to watch me at work. Our eyes met, the lion and his lioness, before I brought her in for a final kiss.

Rolling over, I positioned her to be atop of me without missing a beat. She began to swirl her hips, bouncing against my sex to the sounds of the music. I silently spoke her name, feeling myself near. She leaned over to balance herself as she picked up pace. I wrapped my arms around her waist and helped guide her along my shaft, resting my thumb at the curve of her spine against the black lettering of my name that no one knew but me. The wet, sloppy sounds of skin hitting skin pushed me over the edge; unable to take much more of the strenuous torture she was inflicting onto me. I began to thrust into her widely, causing her to scream out in blissful misery to the rippling swing of her orgasm.

I followed her lead shortly after, burying my head against her chest. She collapsed atop of me, nuzzling my neck to catch her breath. We stayed like that for ten more seconds, hearing the neighbors next door begin to countdown. I closed my eyes, beginning to caress her hair as she listened to my heart beat.

_Happy New Year_


	9. Come and Get It

**A/N: Thank you to 'Abby' for being a wonderful person and getting me re-inspired for this story. I love the song you suggested so much I even downloaded it. I will use that song in the sequel to this story! I figured dragging out this plot was pretty much useless so I decided to make a part two to the Chuckie and Angelica love story. If anyone knows me, they know I love to do franchises. LOL. Thanks again for everyone's support and hope to see you REAL soon for the sequel! Thanks for enjoying my dark, twisted fantasies. -SensuallyPassionate**

**Chapter theme song: 'Come and Get It' by: Selena Gomez**

"And what happened after you two rang in the New Year?"

I popped in another peppermint, letting out a low sigh. I kept looking at the sudden windstorm that swept the kiss of winter against his office window. It grew dark earlier than I expected so I was expecting to be met with subzero temperatures when I left his warm, cozy building. I smiled. "We cuddled in silence for about two hours until he got up to shower and took me home."

I watched Dr. Lyles write something in his infamous notepad, grinning slightly. "Did you two talk about the abortion?" I nodded in response, hoping he wouldn't ask about it. "What did you guys talk about?"

I remained silent for a minute, recollecting the distant memory. I kept looking down at the carpeted floor, hoping to disappear. When Charles had startled me that evening, he was the last person I expected to see. I knew he was scheduled to leave for Connecticut within the next few days and with all our drama, I did not think for a second that he would want to spend one of his last days in town with the woman that broke his heart.

When we got into the car, there was a momentary spell of silence until I asked him how he knew where to find me; Suzie being the one to tell him. He revved up the ignition and quietly drove around downtown for about an hour until he settled on taking me to a hotel for the night. I tried to ask him what he was thinking and even offered to just take a cab home if he wanted to be alone but he shushed me with a small kiss before dragging me into the Four Seasons for the night.

I rubbed my chest, closing my eyes as I imagined his sweet trail of butterfly kisses against my collarbone; gently nipping against my skin to venture lower into the familiar terrain of my body. "He asked me why I kept my pregnancy a secret from him."

"What did you say?"

"I told him the truth: that I did not know if the baby was his or that Jamaican guy I slept with and that I didn't want to chance it."

Dr. Lyles scribbled something again in his notepad, this time saying 'interesting'. "What's interesting?" I asked.

"Angelica, may I ask you a personal question?"

"How much more personal can you get, honestly?"

He chuckled, nodding in agreement. He removed his thin frames to set them on his desk before folding his hands. "Did you feel that by bringing a baby into the world you would only hold Chuckie back more?"

I gulped, trying to think. Truth was, I did consider that position. Chuckie had already stayed behind in Michigan for me and the last thing I wanted to do was make him a premature father on top of that. I also knew that Charles was raised much better than that to have a child with a woman and not marry her. I knew that if I did tell him I was pregnant he would have waited until there could be a DNA test done and if the child had been his, he would have married me immediately. As much as my heart truly wanted to be Mrs. Angelica Charlotte Finster, I was not willing to manipulate my beloved just to get my happy ending. After all, I was the reason we broke up in the first place.

I nodded. "I couldn't live with myself if I had done that."

"What do you do to cope now, Angelica? Chuckie is gone right?"

"He left two weeks ago…he won't be back until mid-May."

"How does that make you feel?"

"I don't feel anymore." I spoke honestly. I looked at him. "I just turn all my emotions off and grow numb."

"Do you still drink? Engage in promiscuous activity? Anti-depressants?"

I sighed, nodding again. I hated how he had to prey so damn hard into my life. "My dad left around the same time Chuckie left, so my mom brought back in the liquor to drown out her own sorrows and now that I am single and don't have to worry about Chuckie anymore, I have sex at least twice a day with either people I know or men I meet online or wherever. But I don't pop the anti-depressants anymore, coming here and talking to you helped that a little bit." I paid him a rare compliment.

"Well thank you." He grinned. "Do you use protection at least, Angelica?"

I shook my head. "Doesn't feel the same and doesn't...well..."

"To curb your appetite?" he asked softly. I answered to his displeasure. "That is not healthy, Angelica. Do you have any other interests aside from sex?"

I had to think for a minute. It had been a long time since I did much of anything else. When I wasn't drinking or screwing someone, I found myself enjoying writing short stories to relieve stress. I even took the initiative to go to a few debate matches between my cousin's school and a few other schools whose debates were offered to the public. "I like to write sometimes but I really enjoy watching a good debate."

"Debate?"

"Yes. I used to be on my high-school debate team but when the family drama happened, I could hardly focus so I quit. I really enjoy arguing, proving a point, and researching."

He wrote something again, this time with a smile. "Do you have ambitions to become a lawyer?"

I shrugged. "I gave it thought but I'm too fucked up to be some lawyer, Dr. Lyles."

"You aren't 'fucked up' as you say, Angelica. You are just dealing with the stress in your life the best way you know how; it's a defense mechanism."

I rolled my eyes, glancing down at my watch. It was getting close to six and my mom had told me before she dropped me off she expected me home by seven at the latest. She and I were working on rebuilding out broken relationship but it was going to take some time and not happen overnight. She started off by actually becoming my mother and not trying to be my friend. She had set a minor curfew, actually conversed with me, and even tried to spend time with me. We didn't talk about my father or the incident with Chuckie but she did console me and tell me that she apologizes for not being attentive when her daughter needed her most. That meant a lot to me, especially coming from her.

"I have to get ready to go." I stood, grabbing my jacket. "My mother wants me home by seven for dinner."

"Oh, that's good!" Dr. Lyles exclaimed. He closed his notepad. "You two getting along well?"

"Baby steps."

"I understand." He stood, smiling. "I want you to find another outlet to let out your frustrations, Angelica." He paused to write something on the back of his business card, handing it to me. "I also want you to attend one of these meetings to see how you like it."

"What is it?" I asked reading it. It was a discussion group for sex addicts. "Why do I need to go here?"

"You can seriously find yourself hurt if you continue this behavior, Angelica. I want you to make an honest attempt to attend one of these sessions."

I smacked my lips, shoving on my wool hat and mittens. I stuffed the business card in my purse as he escorted me out his office and walked with me to the elevator. "What do they talk about?"

"Everything and anything." He gave a warm smile. "You are not alone with your addiction, Angelica, but I want you to seriously try and find something else to occupy your time with. Write a short story or better yet, join your school's debate team."

I scoffed. "It's a junior college, I don't know if we have that; especially since I just re-enrolled after not showing up to class for the longest."

"Anything is better than giving your all to someone who isn't truly there." He spoke as the elevator had slowly creaked open. I gave him a small hug, thanking him again. "Angelica, one last question?"

"Shoot." I said, holding the elevator.

"Do you feel you and Charles will get back together?"

I thought long and hard about that question once before. I honestly didn't think he and I would have been broken up this long and part of me partially thinks that this is it. As much as I love Charles and I know he loves me, I hurt him something terrible and the trust between us has diminished into nonexistent. It was never spoken, but I could tell because of the evening of New Years Eve. We had rarely used protection…until then. My heart longed to be with him forever, and he was the only man I could see myself marrying; but I humbly accepted my fate despite how I personally felt about it. I respected his decision to want to end things and explore his options; he at least deserved that much. We had been together for what seems like forever and maybe this was best. I needed time to work on myself and my personal issues while he deserved to not have me hold him back any longer than I already have.

The elevator started to buzz loudly, forcing a sudden closing. I waved at Dr. Lyles before he vanished behind the metal doors, giving him my answer. Entering the lobby, I bundled up my jacket to step outside, being met with the expected chill of winter against my supple skin. I reached for my sapphire necklace clinging around my neck, the one Chuckie had given me last Christmas, smiling. Though this time apart may very well be the beginning to the end of our relationship, whenever he was ready for true love again…he could come and get it.


End file.
